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I'm having a 'back to basics' summer. In addition to celebrating Bu every second of my life, I am going to paint the walls and ceiling of the basement as a progressive art piece ( à la Joey Donnelly... A dear friend who is nothing but inspirational), not wear make up or clothing that makes sense (I've told people to brace themselves for my sinfully abstract clothing), wear an obscene amount of scarves that promote beauty and energy, surround with my tightest circle and be inspired by the spiraling off-shoots of loving family and friends. I am going to listen to the weirdest, most wonderful music and get Reiki treatments, practice yoga and tai chi, pray and shave my head and eat all of the healthiest food that I can eat.
There are many transformations taking place- something that I have several people to thank. I thank my cousin/soul sister/life coach/confidante/fundraiser founder/best friend, Christine, for her staunch support. She even entered the depths of the scattered collections within my basement and quickly helped in transforming it into a deliciously open and inviting space (check out her website at freshjoy.ca). And of course... My family. They have parked a 5th wheel trailer and managed to create an oh-so lovely campground of our backyard. String lights, a screened, tent-ish canopy for Bu and my nephews to safely enjoy being outside in (Thank you Aunty Lorna and Lee... I love you ladies) and sit in my zero-gravity chair. (Thank you Aunty Cheryl... Your generosity never ceases to amaze me xoxo). My Mom, or Dad, or Cassy or Lauren will literally put their lives on hold and rotate through (in various combinations) to support driving, hanging out with Bu, share in this experience. If anyone knows me, they know how very much my family means to me. Even Mike and the boys will be coming up to share in it. My core couldn't be stronger. I love everyone for it.
Before today, my summer looked rather dire. It was a summer of chemo and radiation therapy- a prison of miserable, sunless, painful experiences before I will finally feel a 'new, normal Me' emerge with hopeful health. I have to be aware to celebrate this journey. I am aware. I am on the cusp off the most wonderful spiritual transformation. It's unreal.
My wisdom is born from the finding of ways to find joy. To quiet my mind and really feel my surroundings. It is important to allow yourself to respond in true ways that reflect an instinct- be it in movement or an emotional and uncomfortable tarnish on a friendship... I walked into the kitchen yesterday to find Richard laying on the floor because 'his body was telling him that he had to'- I tell you, this weirdness has some validity. Paying attention to and acting on it is entirely liberating. Dancing has taught me so much about that.
At a recent family supper, there was a guided meditation held for me, with my daughter, husband, parents, sisters, nephews, my brother (Mike), Grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, great aunt, nephews and of course, the honorable, honorary family members (Jackie, Kelsa, Frank and Diana). The meditation ended with my literal, and metaphorical, circle of love come in to touch me with their divine energy. My Grandma declared a comfort shawl of marine blue to be a great comfort in a display of impassioned public speaking that I really admired.
There are abundant ways and channels in which I receive love. The dozens of churches, spiritual canters and several non-profit communities across North America, thousands of Reiki distance healers (facilitated by the gentle, nurturing spirit of Berni Heimbecker -berniheimbecker.com... and a shout out to Demelza and Margaret), mosques, the Saskatoon Insight Meditation Community, the Town of Dundurn, a kind-hearted and lovely family who sent a guided meditation book and Frankincense oil, a group of women who make quilts for cancer patients and my friend Jessica who passed my name on to them, hundreds of families who send their love and support, a Briar bretheren in San Fransisco, Al-Anon group members, the people who work alongside my sisters, Mom, Jackie and Uncle Ken at the Hospital, the men and women at the shop my Dad works at in Pennsylvania as well in Swift Current, a church in France and 4 in Mexico, that magnet fundraiser followers, a fundraiser at the Ivy put on by my (best) lady friends at SACL, strangers, friends I haven't connected with in years, ... The outpouring of love humbles me to the very bone. I can't be more proud of humankind when I know how much kindness is being offered to my family.
I've stopped taking people and time for granted. Everything is bittersweet and I am in balance. I stare at the Moonbeams with the same awe in which I used to admire the sun. There is beauty in all sides... and everywhere in between. Love is infinite. We are so blessed to be able to pass on goodness to all. Embrace the very nature of wishing everyone well. It's simply beautiful.
I thank so many people for the support during this path. I may sound incredibly selfish, and I am at this moment because I need to be. Try it for awhile; when you live for yourself, you are able to love everyone else more. I practice love of all, even when it is difficult.
Thought I would share. This is what I wanted to say.
With love in my heart,
M
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