Weird and Proud!

Sometimes, I forget how weird I am.  I've always been interested in eccentric personalities who challenge accepted behaviour.  Lately, I have lived in a world where the stakes have been so high with all aspects of my life; I can't seem to escape the awareness of how precious this experience is.  With my ability to live, keep my quality of life, have financial stability in spite of having a disability, to be happy, have any kind of family with my husband (who is doing very well)... I have been walking a fine line and it has brought a heightened sense of gratitude to me.  I value the awareness, but it generally makes me feel disconnected from people.  I have spoken with fellow survivors of trauma and it seems common for people to have a challenging time transitioning back into life.  Especially when I found out the seriousness of my diagnosis, I vowed I would live with more purpose.  I feel kinship with people who are tuned into that reality; the folks who connect with my weirdness are the people I need in my life right now. 

I am reminded of an activity I facilitated for a youth event a few years ago.  We made tie-dyed shirts and then used fabric marker to personalize them.  The group was made up of individuals, some who were diagnosed as having an intellectual disability, and some who were not.  The point of the group was to not focus on labels but get to know each other. One brilliant young lady made a beautiful shirt with large letters: WEIRD AND PROUD! She was fascinated by communication and aspergers (read more about this), and provoked many interesting conversations about breaking down barriers of communication.  Over the years, I have seen her proudly wearing her shirt; I am so inspired by the message.

I try to tone down my communication with people, often having an internal struggle, pleading with myself not to ask weird questions.  I see the purpose of proper politesse, but the odd time, I let my really far-out self shine through.  

Like when I meditate and facebook. Ha. 

I often communicate with little regard for boundaries, but post-meditative Megan is particularly peculiar. I posted a weird profile status on facebook last night, and thought I should write a blog entry about facebook-ing after meditation.  I realize the irony, and meditation typically steers me away from social media. But there are times when I feel inspired to reach out to people.   Tonight, my profile status read:
Time passes and there are many I have not recently shared space with. The ways you have grown, the life you have experienced bear the potential for infinite possibilities. How are you, my Friend?

The beautiful thing was that within minutes, I received messages from people I had been missing, instantly quashing any reservations I had about displaying my weird thoughts for anyone to see.  And, just as instantly, I was inspired by friends who are in a similar place in their life.  It is a tragedy if a person feels self-conscious for being a bit abstract in the way they communicate.  To cap off the night, I updated my status to:

The biggest mistake you can make: hiding how weird you are :)

So, shine on! Have a wonderful day, you lovely crusaders of creativity and curiousness.